Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize