You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
