whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
