she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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