so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
