You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
