we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
