It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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