so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
