from now on my penis is your penis
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
