is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
