Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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(614): View more from Ohio

Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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(972): View more from Texas

she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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(817): View more from Texas

besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.

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(260): View more from Indiana

DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.

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