Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
