so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
