Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
