come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize