So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
