so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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