Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
