I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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