he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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