if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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