Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
