What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
