apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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