Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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