Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
