Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
