Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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