He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
