i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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