I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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