remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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