Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
