how can u be prego again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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