dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
