So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You don't make any sense
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