May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
