life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
