I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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