Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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