You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
