Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
