I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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