At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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