I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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