after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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