omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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