Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
porn star boner night. come get it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
