I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
