Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
