We got so high we made milksteak
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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