Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
