So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
