well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
