Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize