Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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