i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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