textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
