Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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(541): View more from Oregon

at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking

(1-541): View more from Oregon

only in oregon

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(281): View more from Texas

I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

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(614): View more from Ohio

We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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(269): View more from Michigan

He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

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(248): View more from Michigan

No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist

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