spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
