I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
