At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
